If your car is ever vandalized to the point where it must be towed & you live in one of the five boroughs of New York City, don’t ever, ever, EVER, EVERRRRRRR tell AAA you have called the cops, the cops are there, you think there might be cops a block away, you once dated a cop - NOTHING. Don’t even say words like crops or props or mops, which sound like cops & might confuse the AAA agent.
Why? I thought you’d never ask.
According to AAA, when a car is involved in a criminal incident or accident, they cannot tow it - according to them, it must be towed by the cops. When you say this to the young rookie who for some reason just couldn’t get out of the car to give you back your insurance card but instead toots that adorable little siren to get your attention while you’re sobbing on the phone with your irate dad who is 1500 miles away on a much deserved vacation, he will shake his head and say, “We don’t tow.” You then repeat that to the AAA agent, who says, “The cops have to tow the car,” and then the cop says, “We don’t tow,” and then the agent says, “The cops have to tow the car,” and then the cop says, “We don’t tow,” and then the agent says, “The cops have to tow the car,” and then the cop says, “We don’t tow.”
If you ever find yourself in that situation, as I did last night, I find this is the best course of action: thank the AAA agent & hang up the phone, finish filing your report with the cops, watch them drive off into the sunset after telling you they don’t investigate wheel theft (not that I thought they would, but the condescending “there’s nothing we can do” sounded wonderful as I was left standing in the dark with three tons of useless metal being held up on one side by a cinder block), and once everyone who was walking their dog past you has stopped & said “Oh my gah, what happened?” (what does it LOOK like, you big helper you!) and you’ve cried a little & held hands with your friend doing some deep breathing for a minute, THEN & only THEN call AAA again, pretend it’s your first time calling & DON’T MENTION COPS EVER. They’ll have a tow to you in less than a half hour*.
Of course if your car is a huge monstrosity with all wheel drive, a tow can do nothing until you get 4 tires on your car - unless you don’t mind the damage that will certainly be inflicted when they drag what can only be described as a fucked-up TRICYCLE (after the spare is put on it) onto the flatbed. So my parents newly-lopsided car sat on it’s cinder block throughout the night, a night I spent worried sick that some other upstanding citizens would see it sitting on cinder blocks & say, “Lookie! An abandoned car! Let’s strip it!”
*in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn - may not apply to other parts of New York City. I’ve waited 3 hours for a tow in Manhattan.
